THE TWENTY-NINTH CHAPTER

The Golden Ass

by Lucius Apuleius

THE TWENTY-NINTH CHAPTER, THE GOLDEN ASS by Lucius Apuleius

How Apuleius was accused of Lechery by the boy.

A few dayes after, the boy invented another mischiefe: For when
he had sold all the wood which I bare, to certaine men dwelling in a
village by, he lead me homeward unladen : And then he cryed that
he was not able to rule me, and that hee would not drive mee any
longer to the hill for wood, saying : Doe you not see this slow and
dulle Asse, who besides all the mischiefes that he hath wrought
already, inventeth daily more and more. For he espyeth any woman
passing by the way, whether she be old or marryed, or if it be a
young child, hee will throw his burthen from his backe, and runneth
fiercely upon them. And after that he hath thrown them downe, he
will stride over them to commit his buggery and beastly pleasure,
moreover hee will faine as though hee would kisse them, but he will
bite their faces cruelly, which thing may worke us great
displeasure, or rather to be imputed unto us as a crime : and even
now when he espyed an honest maiden passing by die high way, he
by and by threw downe his wood and runne after her : And when
he had throwne her down upon the ground, he would have ravished
her before the face of all the world, had it not beene that by reason
of her crying out, she was succored and pulled from his heeles, and
so delivered. And if it had so come to passe that this fearefull maid
had beene slaine by him, what danger had we beene in? By these
and like lies, he provoked the shepheards earnestly against me,
which grieved mee (God wot) full sore that said nothing. Then one
of the shepheards said : Why doe we not make sacrifice of this
common adulterous Asse? My sonne (quoth he) let us kill him and
throw his guts to the dogges, and reserve his flesh for the labourers
supper. Then let us cast dust upon his skinne, and carry it home to
our master, and say that the Woolves have devoured him. The boy
that was my evill accuser made no delay, but prepared himselfe to
execute the sentence of the shepheard, rejoycing at my present
danger, but O how greatly did I then repent that the stripe which I
gave him with my heele had not killed him. Then he drew out his
sword and made it sharp upon the whetstone to slay me, but
another of the shepheards gan say, Verely it is a great offence to
kill so faire an Asse, and so (by accusation of luxurie and lascivious
wantonnesse) to lack so necessarie his labour and service, where
otherwise if ye would cut off his stones, he might not onely be
deprived of his courage but also become gentle, that we should be
delivered from all feare and danger. Moreover he would be
thereby more fat and better in flesh. For I know my selfe as well
many Asses, as also most fierce horses, that by reason of their
wantonnesse have beene most mad and terrible, but (when they
were gelded and cut) they have become gentle and tame, and
tractable to all use. Wherefore I would counsell you to geld him.
And if you consent thereto, I will by and by, when I go to the next
market fetch mine irons and tooles for the purpose : And I ensure
you after that I have gelded and cut off his stones, I will deliver him
unto you as tame as a lambe. When I did perceive that I was
delivered from death, and reserved to be gelded, I was greatly
sorrie, insomuch that I thought all the hinder part of my body and
my stones did ake for woe, but I sought about to kill my selfe by
some manner of meanes, to the end if I should die, I would die with
unperished members.