THE TWENTY-EIGHTH CHAPTER

The Golden Ass

by Lucius Apuleius

THE TWENTY-EIGHTH CHAPTER, THE GOLDEN ASS by Lucius Apuleius


How Apuleius was made a common Asse to fetch home wood, and
how he was handled by a boy.

After that I was thus handled by horses, I was brought home
againe to the Mill, but behold fortune (insatiable of my torments)
had devised a new paine for me. I was appointed to bring home
wood every day from a high hill, and who should drive me thither
and home again, but a boy that was the veriest hangman in all the
world, who was not contented with the great travell that I tooke in
climbing up the hill, neither pleased when he saw my hoofe torne
and worne away by sharpe flintes, but he beat me cruelly with a
great staffe, insomuch that the marrow of my bones did ake for
woe, for he would strike me continually on the right hip, and still in
one place, whereby he tore my skinne and made of my wide sore a
great hole or trench, or rather a window to looke out at, and
although it runne downe of blood, yet would he not cease beating
me in that place : moreover he laded me with such great burthens
of wood that you would thinke they had been rather prepared for
Elephants then for me, and when he perceived that my wood
hanged more on one side then another, (when he should rather take
away the heavy sides, and so ease me, or else lift them up to make
them equall with the other) he laid great stones upon the weaker
side to remedy the matter, yet could be not be contented with this
my great misery and immoderate burthens of wood, but when hee
came to any river (as there were many by the way) he to save his
feete from water, would leape upon my loynes likewise, which was
no small loade upon loade. And if by adversity I had fell downe in
any dirty or myrie place, when he should have pulled me out either
with ropes, or lifted me up by the taile, he would never helpe me,
but lay me on from top to toe with a mighty staffe, till he had left no
haire on all my body, no not so much as on mine eares, whereby I
was compelled by force of blowes to stand up. The same hangman
boy did invent another torment for me : he gathered a great many
sharp thornes as sharp as needles and bound them together like a
fagot, and tyed them at my tayle to pricke me, then was I afflicted
on every side, for if I had indeavoured to runne away, the thornes
would have pricked me, if I had stood still, the boy would have
beaten mee, and yet the boy beate mee to make me runne,
whereby I perceived that the hangman did devise nothing else save
only to kill me by some manner of meanes, and he would sweare
and threaten to do me worse harme, and because hee might have
some occasion to execute his malicious minde, upon a day (after
that I had endeavoured too much by my patience) I lifted up my
heeles and spurned him welfavouredly. Then he invented this
vengeance against me, after that he had well laded me with shrubs
and rubble, and trussed it round upon my backe, hee brought me out
into the way : then hee stole a burning coale out of a mans house of
the next village, and put it into the middle of the rubbell; the rubbell
and shrubs being very dry, did fall on a light fire and burned me on
every side. I could see no remedy how I might save my selfe, and
in such a case it was not best for me to stand still but fortune was
favourable towards me, perhaps to reserve me for more dangers,
for I espyed a great hole full of raine water that fell the day before,
thither I ranne hastily and plunged my selfe therein, in such sort that
I quenched the fire, and was delivered from that present perill, but
the vile boy to excuse himselfe declared to all the neighbours and
shepheards about, that I willingly tumbled in the fire as I passed
through the village. Then he laughed upon me saying : How long
shall we nourish and keepe this fiery Asse in vaine?