THE SECOND CHAPTER

The Golden Ass

by Lucius Apuleius

THE SECOND CHAPTER, THE GOLDEN ASS by Lucius Apuleius


How Apuleius told to the strangers, what he saw a jugler do in
Athens.

The other night being at supper with a sort of hungry fellowes,
while I did greedily put a great morsel of meate in my mouth, that
was fried with the flower of cheese and barley, it cleaved so fast in
the passage of my throat and stopped my winde in such sort that I
was well nigh choked. And yet at Athens before the porch there
called Peale, I saw with these eyes a jugler that swallowed up a
two hand sword, with a very keene edge, and by and by for a little
money that we who looked on gave him, hee devoured a chasing
speare with the point downeward. And after that hee had
conveyed the whole speare within the closure of his body, and
brought it out againe behind, there appeared on the top thereof
(which caused us all to marvell) a faire boy pleasant and nimble,
winding and turning himself in such sort, that you would suppose he
had neither bone nor gristle, and verily thinke that he were the
naturall Serpent, creeping and sliding on the knotted staffe, which
the god of Medicine is feigned to beare. But turning me to him that
began his tale, I pray you (quoth I) follow your purpose, and I alone
will give credit unto you, and for your paynes will pay your charges
at the next Inne we come unto. To whom he answered Certes sir I
thank you for your gentle offer, and at your request I wil proceed in
my tale, but first I will sweare unto you by the light of this Sunne
that shineth here, that those things shall be true, least when you
come to the next city called Thessaly, you should doubt any thing of
that which is rife in the mouthes of every person, and done before
the face of all men. And that I may first make relation to you,
what and who I am, and whither I go, and for what purpose, know
you that I am of Egin, travelling these countries about from
Thessaly to Etolia, and from Etolia to Boetia, to provide for honey,
cheese, and other victuals to sell againe : and understanding that at
Hippata (which is the principall city of all Thessaly), is accustomed
to be soulde new cheeses of exceeding good taste and relish, I
fortuned on a day to go thither, to make my market there : but as it
often happeneth, I came in an evill houre; for one Lupus a purveyor
had bought and ingrossed up all the day before, and so I was
deceived.

Wherefore towards night being very weary, I went to the Baines to
refresh my selfe, and behold, I fortuned to espy my companion
Socrates sitting upon the ground, covered with a torn and course
mantle; who was so meigre and of so sallow and miserable a
countenance, that I scantly knew him : for fortune had brought him
into such estate and calamity, that he verily seemed as a common
begger that standeth in the streets to crave the benevolence of the
passers by. Towards whom (howbeit he was my singular friend
and familiar acquaintance, yet half in despaire) I drew nigh and
said, Alas my Socrates, what meaneth this? how faireth it with
thee? What crime hast thou committed? verily there is great
lamentation and weeping for thee at home : Thy children are in
ward by decree of the Provinciall Judge : Thy wife (having ended
her mourning time in lamentable wise, with face and visage
blubbered with teares, in such sort that she hath well nigh wept out
both her eyes) is constrained by her parents to put out of
remembrance the unfortunate losse and lacke of thee at home, and
against her will to take a new husband. And dost thou live here as
a ghost or hogge, to our great shame and ignominy?

Then he answered he to me and said, O my friend Aristomenus,
now perceive I well that you are ignorant of the whirling changes,
the unstable forces, and slippery inconstancy of Fortune : and
therewithall he covered his face (even then blushing for very
shame) with his rugged mantle insomuch that from his navel
downwards he appeared all naked.

But I not willing to see him any longer in such great miserie and
calamitie, took him by the hand and lifted him up from the ground :
who having his face covered in such sort, Let Fortune (quoth he)
triumph yet more, let her have her sway, and finish that which shee
hath begun. And therewithall I put off one of my garments and
covered him, and immediately I brought him to the Baine, and
caused him to be anointed, wiped, and the filthy scurfe of his body
to be rubbed away; which done, though I were very weary my
selfe, yet I led the poore miser to my Inne, where he reposed his
body upon a bed, and then I brought him meat and drinke, and so
wee talked together : for there we might be merry and laugh at our
pleasure, and so we were, untill such time as he (fetching a pittifull
sigh from the bottom of his heart, and beating his face in miserable
sort, began to say.