Scene VIII.

The Way of the World

by William Congreve

[To them] MRS. MILLAMANT, SIR WILFULL.

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Aunt, your servant.

LADY WISHFORT
Out, caterpillar, call not me aunt; I know
thee not.

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
I confess I have been a little in
disguise, as they say. 'Sheart! and I'm sorry for't. What would you
have? I hope I committed no offence, aunt--and if I did I am willing
to make satisfaction; and what can a man say fairer? If I have broke
anything I'll pay for't, an it cost a pound. And so let that content
for what's past, and make no more words. For what's to come, to
pleasure you I'm willing to marry my cousin. So, pray, let's all be
friends, she and I are agreed upon the matter before a witness.

LADY WISHFORT
How's this, dear niece? Have I any comfort?
Can this be true?

MILLAMANT
I am content to be a sacrifice to your repose,
madam, and to convince you that I had no hand in the plot, as you
were misinformed. I have laid my commands on Mirabell to come in
person, and be a witness that I give my hand to this flower of
knighthood; and for the contract that passed between Mirabell and me,
I have obliged him to make a resignation of it in your ladyship's
presence. He is without and waits your leave for admittance.

LADY WISHFORT
Well, I'll swear I am something revived at
this testimony of your obedience; but I cannot admit that traitor,--I
fear I cannot fortify myself to support his appearance. He is as
terrible to me as a Gorgon: if I see him I swear I shall turn to
stone, petrify incessantly.

MILLAMANT
If you disoblige him he may resent your refusal,
and insist upon the contract still. Then 'tis the last time he will
be offensive to you.

LADY WISHFORT
Are you sure it will be the last time? If I
were sure of that--shall I never see him again?

MILLAMANT
Sir Wilfull, you and he are to travel together,
are you not?

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
'Sheart, the gentleman's a civil
gentleman, aunt, let him come in; why, we are sworn brothers and
fellow-travellers. We are to be Pylades and Orestes, he and I He is
to be my interpreter in foreign parts. He has been overseas once
already; and with proviso that I marry my cousin, will cross 'em once
again, only to bear me company. 'Sheart, I'll call him in,--an I set
on't once, he shall come in; and see who'll hinder him. [Goes to the
door and hems.]

MRS. MARWOOD
This is precious fooling, if it would pass; but
I'll know the bottom of it.

LADY WISHFORT
O dear Marwood, you are not going?

MRS. MARWOOD
Not far, madam; I'll return immediately.