Scene X.

The Way of the World

by William Congreve

SIR WILFULL, drunk, LADY WISHFORT, WITWOUD, MRS. MILLAMANT, MRS.
FAINALL.

LADY WISHFORT
Out upon't, out upon't, at years of
discretion, and comport yourself at this rantipole rate!

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
No offence, aunt.

LADY WISHFORT
Offence? As I'm a person, I'm ashamed of you.
Fogh! How you stink of wine! D'ye think my niece will ever endure
such a Borachio? You're an absolute Borachio.

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Borachio?

LADY WISHFORT
At a time when you should commence an amour,
and put your best foot foremost -

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
'Sheart, an you grutch me your liquor,
make a bill.--Give me more drink, and take my purse. [Sings]:-

Prithee fill me the glass,
Till it laugh in my face,

With ale that is potent and mellow;
He that whines for a lass

Is an ignorant ass,
For a bumper has not its fellow.

But if you would have me marry my cousin, say the word, and I'll
do't. Wilfull will do't, that's the word. Wilfull will do't, that's
my crest,--my motto I have forgot.

LADY WISHFORT
My nephew's a little overtaken, cousin, but
'tis drinking your health. O' my word, you are obliged to him -

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
IN VINO VERITAS, aunt. If I drunk your
health to-day, cousin,--I am a Borachio.--But if you have a mind to
be married, say the word and send for the piper; Wilfull will do't.
If not, dust it away, and let's have t'other round. Tony--ods-heart,
where's Tony?- -Tony's an honest fellow, but he spits after a bumper,
and that's a fault.

We'll drink and we'll never ha' done, boys,
Put the glass
then around with the sun, boys,
Let Apollo's example invite
us;
For he's drunk every night,
And that makes him so
bright,
That he's able next morning to light us.

The sun's a good pimple, an honest soaker, he has a cellar at
your antipodes. If I travel, aunt, I touch at your antipodes--your
antipodes are a good rascally sort of topsy-turvy fellows. If I had
a bumper I'd stand upon my head and drink a health to 'em. A match
or no match, cousin with the hard name; aunt, Wilfull will do't. If
she has her maidenhead let her look to 't; if she has not, let her
keep her own counsel in the meantime, and cry out at the nine months'
end.

MILLAMANT
Your pardon, madam, I can stay no longer. Sir
Wilfull grows very powerful. Egh! how he smells! I shall be
overcome if I stay. Come, cousin.