Scene V.

Love for Love

by William Congreve

JEREMY, SIR SAMPSON LEGEND, with a LAWYER.

SIR SAMPSON LEGEND
D'ye see, Mr Buckram, here's the paper
signed with his own hand.

BUCKRAM
Good, sir. And the conveyance is ready drawn in
this box, if he be ready to sign and seal.

SIR SAMPSON LEGEND
Ready, body o' me? He must be ready.
His sham-sickness shan't excuse him. Oh, here's his scoundrel.
Sirrah, where's your master?

JEREMY
Ah sir, he's quite gone.

SIR SAMPSON LEGEND
Gone! What, he is not dead?

JEREMY
No, sir, not dead.

SIR SAMPSON LEGEND
What, is he gone out of town, run away,
ha? has he tricked me? Speak, varlet.

JEREMY
No, no, sir, he's safe enough, sir, an he were but as
sound, poor gentleman. He is indeed here, sir, and not here, sir.

SIR SAMPSON LEGEND
Hey day, rascal, do you banter me?
Sirrah, d'ye banter me? Speak, sirrah, where is he? for I will find
him.

JEREMY
Would you could, sir, for he has lost himself.
Indeed, sir, I have a'most broke my heart about him--I can't refrain
tears when I think of him, sir: I'm as melancholy for him as a
passing-bell, sir, or a horse in a pound.

SIR SAMPSON LEGEND
A pox confound your similitudes, sir.
Speak to be understood, and tell me in plain terms what the matter is
with him, or I'll crack your fool's skull.

JEREMY
Ah, you've hit it, sir; that's the matter with him,
sir: his skull's cracked, poor gentleman; he's stark mad, sir.

SIR SAMPSON LEGEND
Mad!

BUCKRAM
What, is he non compos?

JEREMY
Quite non compos, sir.

BUCKRAM
Why, then, all's obliterated, Sir Sampson, if he be
non compos mentis; his act and deed will be of no effect, it is not
good in law.

SIR SAMPSON LEGEND
Oons, I won't believe it; let me see him,
sir. Mad--I'll make him find his senses.

JEREMY
Mr Scandal is with him, sir; I'll knock at the
door.

[Goes to the scene, which opens.]