6. How Guph Visited the Whimsies

The Emerald City of Oz

by L. Frank Baum

The new General of the Nome King's army knew perfectly well that
to fail in his plans meant death for him. Yet he was not at all
anxious or worried. He hated every one who was good and longed to
make all who were happy unhappy. Therefore he had accepted this
dangerous position as General quite willingly, feeling sure in his
evil mind that he would be able to do a lot of mischief and finally
conquer the Land of Oz.

Yet Guph determined to be careful, and to lay his plans well, so
as not to fail. He argued that only careless people fail in what
they attempt to do.

The mountains underneath which the Nome King's extensive caverns
were located lay grouped just north of the Land of Ev, which lay
directly across the deadly desert to the east of the Land of Oz. As
the mountains were also on the edge of the desert the Nome King found
that he had only to tunnel underneath the desert to reach Ozma's
dominions. He did not wish his armies to appear above ground in the
Country of the Winkies, which was the part of the Land of Oz nearest
to King Roquat's own country, as then the people would give the alarm
and enable Ozma to fortify the Emerald City and assemble an army. He
wanted to take all the Oz people by surprise; so he decided to run
the tunnel clear through to the Emerald City, where he and his hosts
could break through the ground without warning and conquer the people
before they had time to defend themselves.

Roquat the Red began work at once upon his tunnel, setting a
thousand miners at the task and building it high and broad enough for
his armies to march through it with ease. The Nomes were used to
making tunnels, as all the kingdom in which they lived was under
ground; so they made rapid progress.

While this work was going on General Guph started out alone to
visit the Chief of the Whimsies.

These Whimsies were curious people who lived in a retired
country of their own. They had large, strong bodies, but heads so
small that they were no bigger than door-knobs. Of course, such tiny
heads could not contain any great amount of brains, and the Whimsies
were so ashamed of their personal appearance and lack of commonsense
that they wore big heads made of pasteboard, which they fastened over
their own little heads. On these pasteboard heads they sewed sheep's
wool for hair, and the wool was colored many tints--pink, green and
lavender being the favorite colors. The faces of these false heads
were painted in many ridiculous ways, according to the whims of the
owners, and these big, burly creatures looked so whimsical and absurd
in their queer masks that they were called "Whimsies." They
foolishly imagined that no one would suspect the little heads that
were inside the imitation ones, not knowing that it is folly to try
to appear otherwise than as nature has made us.

The Chief of the Whimsies had as little wisdom as the others,
and had been chosen chief merely because none among them was any
wiser or more capable of ruling. The Whimsies were evil spirits and
could not be killed. They were hated and feared by every one and
were known as terrible fighters because they were so strong and
muscular and had not sense enough to know when they were defeated.

General Guph thought the Whimsies would be a great help to the
Nomes in the conquest of Oz, for under his leadership they could be
induced to fight as long so they could stand up. So he traveled to
their country and asked to see the Chief, who lived in a house that
had a picture of his grotesque false head painted over the
doorway.

The Chief's false head had blue hair, a turned-up nose, and a
mouth that stretched half across the face. Big green eyes had been
painted upon it, but in the center of the chin were two small holes
made in the pasteboard, so that the Chief could see through them with
his own tiny eyes; for when the big head was fastened upon his
shoulders the eyes in his own natural head were on a level with the
false chin.

Said General Guph to the Chief of the Whimsies:

"We Nomes are going to conquer the Land of Oz and capture our
King's Magic Belt, which the Oz people stole from him. Then we are
going to plunder and destroy the whole country. And we want the
Whimsies to help us."

"Will there be any fighting?" asked the Chief.

"Plenty," replied Guph.

That must have pleased the Chief, for he got up and danced
around the room three times. Then he seated himself again, adjusted
his false head, and said:

"We have no quarrel with Ozma of Oz."

"But you Whimsies love to fight, and here is a splendid chance
to do so," urged Guph.

"Wait till I sing a song," said the Chief. Then he lay back in
his chair and sang a foolish song that did not seem to the General to
mean anything, although he listened carefully. When he had finished,
the Chief Whimsie looked at him through the holes in his chin and
asked:

"What reward will you give us if we help you?"

The General was prepared for this question, for he had been
thinking the matter over on his journey. People often do a good deed
without hope of reward, but for an evil deed they always demand
payment.

"When we get our Magic Belt," he made reply, "our King, Roquat
the Red, will use its power to give every Whimsie a natural head as
big and fine as the false head he now wears. Then you will no longer
be ashamed because your big strong bodies have such teenty-weenty
heads."

"Oh! Will you do that?" asked the Chief, eagerly.

"We surely will," promised the General.

"I'll talk to my people," said the Chief.

So he called a meeting of all the Whimsies and told them of the
offer made by the Nomes. The creatures were delighted with the
bargain, and at once agreed to fight for the Nome King and help him
to conquer Oz.

One Whimsie alone seemed to have a glimmer of sense, for he
asked:

"Suppose we fail to capture the Magic Belt? What will happen
then, and what good will all our fighting do?"

But they threw him into the river for asking foolish questions,
and laughed when the water ruined his pasteboard head before he could
swim out again.

So the compact was made and General Guph was delighted with his
success in gaining such powerful allies.

But there were other people, too, just as important as the
Whimsies, whom the clever old Nome had determined to win to his
side.