Chapter 5

The Old Curiosity Shop

by Charles Dickens

Whether Mr Quilp took any sleep by snatches of a few winks at a
time, or whether he sat with his eyes wide open all night long,
certain it is that he kept his cigar alight, and kindled every fresh
one from the ashes of that which was nearly consumed, without
requiring the assistance of a candle. Nor did the striking of the
clocks, hour after hour, appear to inspire him with any sense of
drowsiness or any natural desire to go to rest, but rather to
increase his wakefulness, which he showed, at every such indication
of the progress of the night, by a suppressed cackling in his throat,
and a motion of his shoulders, like one who laughs heartily but the
same time slyly and by stealth.

At length the day broke, and poor Mrs Quilp, shivering with cold
of early morning and harassed by fatigue and want of sleep, was
discovered sitting patiently on her chair, raising her eyes at
intervals in mute appeal to the compassion and clemency of her lord,
and gently reminding him by an occasion cough that she was still
unpardoned and that her penance had been of long duration. But her
dwarfish spouse still smoked his cigar and drank his rum without
heeding her; and it was not until the sun had some time risen, and
the activity and noise of city day were rife in the street, that he
deigned to recognize her presence by any word or sign. He might not
have done so even then, but for certain impatient tapping at the door
he seemed to denote that some pretty hard knuckles were actively
engaged upon the other side.

'Why dear me!' he said looking round with a malicious grin,
'it's day. Open the door, sweet Mrs Quilp!'

His obedient wife withdrew the bolt, and her lady mother
entered.

Now, Mrs Jiniwin bounced into the room with great impetuosity;
for, supposing her son-in-law to be still a-bed, she had come to
relieve her feelings by pronouncing a strong opinion upon his general
conduct and character. Seeing that he was up and dressed, and that
the room appeared to have been occupied ever since she quitted it on
the previous evening, she stopped short, in some embarrassment.

Nothing escaped the hawk's eye of the ugly little man, who,
perfectly understanding what passed in the old lady's mind, turned
uglier still in the fulness of his satisfaction, and bade her good
morning, with a leer or triumph.

'Why, Betsy,' said the old woman, 'you haven't been--you don't
mean to say you've been a--'

'Sitting up all night?' said Quilp, supplying the conclusion of
the sentence. 'Yes she has!'

'All night?' cried Mrs Jiniwin.

'Ay, all night. Is the dear old lady deaf?' said Quilp, with a
smile of which a frown was part. 'Who says man and wife are bad
company? Ha ha! The time has flown.'

'You're a brute!' exclaimed Mrs Jiniwin.

'Come come,' said Quilp, wilfully misunderstanding her, of
course, 'you mustn't call her names. She's married now, you know. And
though she did beguile the time and keep me from my bed, you must not
be so tenderly careful of me as to be out of humour with her. Bless
you for a dear old lady. Here's to your health!'

'I am much obliged to you,' returned the old woman, testifying
by a certain restlessness in her hands a vehement desire to shake her
matronly fist at her son-in-law. 'Oh! I'm very much obliged to
you!'

'Grateful soul!' cried the dwarf. 'Mrs Quilp.'

'Yes, Quilp,' said the timid sufferer.

'Help your mother to get breakfast, Mrs Quilp. I am going to the
wharf this morning--the earlier the better, so be quick.'

Mrs Jiniwin made a faint demonstration of rebellion by sitting
down in a chair near the door and folding her arms as if in a
resolute determination to do nothing. But a few whispered words from
her daughter, and a kind inquiry from her son-in-law whether she felt
faint, with a hint that there was abundance of cold water in the next
apartment, routed these symptoms effectually, and she applied herself
to the prescribed preparations with sullen diligence.

While they were in progress, Mr Quilp withdrew to the adjoining
room, and, turning back his coat-collar, proceeded to smear his
countenance with a damp towel of very unwholesome appearance, which
made his complexion rather more cloudy than it was before. But, while
he was thus engaged, his caution and inquisitiveness did not forsake
him, for with a face as sharp and cunning as ever, he often stopped,
even in this short process, and stood listening for any conversation
in the next room, of which he might be the theme.

'Ah!' he said after a short effort of attention, 'it was not the
towel over my ears, I thought it wasn't. I'm a little hunchy villain
and a monster, am I, Mrs Jiniwin? Oh!'

The pleasure of this discovery called up the old doglike smile
in full force. When he had quite done with it, he shook himself in a
very doglike manner, and rejoined the ladies.

Mr Quilp now walked up to front of a looking-glass, and was
standing there putting on his neckerchief, when Mrs Jiniwin happening
to be behind him, could not resist the inclination she felt to shake
her fist at her tyrant son-in-law. It was the gesture of an instant,
but as she did so and accompanied the action with a menacing look,
she met his eye in the glass, catching her in the very act. The same
glance at the mirror conveyed to her the reflection of a horribly
grotesque and distorted face with the tongue lolling out; and the
next instant the dwarf, turning about with a perfectly bland and
placid look, inquired in a tone of great affection.

'How are you now, my dear old darling?'

Slight and ridiculous as the incident was, it made him appear
such a little fiend, and withal such a keen and knowing one, that the
old woman felt too much afraid of him to utter a single word, and
suffered herself to be led with extraordinary politeness to the
breakfast-table. Here he by no means diminished the impression he had
just produced, for he ate hard eggs, shell and all, devoured gigantic
prawns with the heads and tails on, chewed tobacco and water-cresses
at the same time and with extraordinary greediness, drank boiling tea
without winking, bit his fork and spoon till they bent again, and in
short performed so many horrifying and uncommon acts that the women
were nearly frightened out of their wits, and began to doubt if he
were really a human creature. At last, having gone through these
proceedings and many others which were equally a part of his system,
Mr Quilp left them, reduced to a very obedient and humbled state, and
betook himself to the river-side, where he took boat for the wharf on
which he had bestowed his name.

It was flood tide when Daniel Quilp sat himself down in the
ferry to cross to the opposite shore. A fleet of barges were coming
lazily on, some sideways, some head first, some stern first; all in a
wrong-headed, dogged, obstinate way, bumping up against the larger
craft, running under the bows of steamboats, getting into every kind
of nook and corner where they had no business, and being crunched on
all sides like so many walnut-shells; while each with its pair of
long sweeps struggling and splashing in the water looked like some
lumbering fish in pain. In some of the vessels at anchor all hands
were busily engaged in coiling ropes, spreading out sails to dry,
taking in or discharging their cargoes; in others no life was visible
but two or three tarry boys, and perhaps a barking dog running to and
fro upon the deck or scrambling up to look over the side and bark the
louder for the view. Coming slowly on through the forests of masts
was a great steamship, beating the water in short impatient strokes
with her heavy paddles as though she wanted room to breathe, and
advancing in her huge bulk like a sea monster among the minnows of
the Thames. On either hand were long black tiers of colliers; between
them vessels slowly working out of harbour with sails glistening in
the sun, and creaking noise on board, re-echoed from a hundred
quarters. The water and all upon it was in active motion, dancing and
buoyant and bubbling up; while the old grey Tower and piles of
building on the shore, with many a church-spire shooting up between,
looked coldly on, and seemed to disdain their chafing, restless
neighbour.

Daniel Quilp, who was not much affected by a bright morning save
in so far as it spared him the trouble of carrying an umbrella,
caused himself to be put ashore hard by the wharf, and proceeded
thither through a narrow lane which, partaking of the amphibious
character of its frequenters, had as much water as mud in its
composition, and a very liberal supply of both. Arrived at his
destination, the first object that presented itself to his view was a
pair of very imperfectly shod feet elevated in the air with the soles
upwards, which remarkable appearance was referable to the boy, who
being of an eccentric spirit and having a natural taste for tumbling,
was now standing on his head and contemplating the aspect of the
river under these uncommon circumstances. He was speedily brought on
his heels by the sound of his master's voice, and as soon as his head
was in its right position, Mr Quilp, to speak expresively in the
absence of a better verb, 'punched it' for him.

'Come, you let me alone,' said the boy, parrying Quilp's hand
with both his elbows alternatively. 'You'll get something you won't
like if you don't and so I tell you.'

'You dog,' snarled Quilp, 'I'll beat you with an iron rod, I'll
scratch you with a rusty nail, I'll pinch your eyes, if you talk to
me--I will.'

With these threats he clenched his hand again, and dexterously
diving in betwen the elbows and catching the boy's head as it dodged
from side to side, gave it three or four good hard knocks. Having now
carried his point and insisted on it, he left off.

'You won't do it agin,' said the boy, nodding his head and
drawing back, with the elbows ready in case of the worst; 'now--'

'Stand still, you dog,' said Quilp. 'I won't do it again,
because I've done it as often as I want. Here. Take the key.'

'Why don't you hit one of your size?' said the boy approaching
very slowly.

'Where is there one of my size, you dog?' returned Quilp. 'Take
the key, or I'll brain you with it'--indeed he gave him a smart tap
with the handle as he spoke. 'Now, open the counting-house.'

The boy sulkily complied, muttering at first, but desisting when
he looked round and saw that Quilp was following him with a steady
look. And here it may be remarked, that between this boy and the
dwarf that existed a strange kind of mutual liking. How born or bred,
and or nourished upon blows and threats on one side, and retorts and
defiances on the other, is not to the purpose. Quilp would certainly
suffer nobody to contract him but the boy, and the boy would
assuredly not have submitted to be so knocked about by anybody but
Quilp, when he had the power to run away at any time he chose.

'Now,' said Quilp, passing into the wooden counting-house, 'you
mind the wharf. Stand upon your head agin, and I'll cut one of your
feet off.'

The boy made no answer, but directly Quilp had shut himself in,
stood on his head before the door, then walked on his hands to the
back and stood on his head there, and then to the opposite side and
repeated the performance. There were indeed four sides to the
counting-house, but he avoided that one where the window was, deeming
it probable that Quilp would be looking out of it. This was prudent,
for in point of fact, the dwarf, knowing his disposition, was lying
in wait at a little distance from the sash armed with a large piece
of wood, which, being rough and jagged and studded in many parts with
broken nails, might possibly have hurt him.

It was a dirty little box, this counting-house, with nothing in
it but an old ricketty desk and two stools, a hat-peg, an ancient
almanack, an inkstand with no ink, and the stump of one pen, and an
eight-day clock which hadn't gone for eighteen years at least, and of
which the minute-hand had been twisted off for a tooth-pick. Daniel
Quilp pulled his hat over his brows, climbed on to the desk (which
had a flat top) and stretching his short length upon it went to sleep
with ease of an old pactitioner; intending, no doubt, to compensate
himself for the deprivation of last night's rest, by a long and sound
nap.

Sound it might have been, but long it was not, for he had not
been asleep a quarter of an hour when the boy opened the door and
thrust in his head, which was like a bundle of badly-picked oakum.
Quilp was a light sleeper and started up directly.

'Here's somebody for you,' said the boy.

'Who?'

'I don't know.'

'Ask!' said Quilp, seizing the trifle of wood before mentioned
and throwing it at him with such dexterity that it was well the boy
disappeared before it reached the spot on which he had stood. 'Ask,
you dog.'

Not caring to venture within range of such missles again, the
boy discreetly sent in his stead the first cause of the interruption,
who now presented herself at the door.

'What, Nelly!' cried Quilp.

'Yes,' said the child, hesitating whether to enter or retreat,
for the dwarf just roused, with his dishevelled hair hanging all
about him and a yellow handkerchief over his head, was something
fearful to behold; it's only me, sir.'

'Come in,' said Quilp, without getting off the desk. 'Come in.
Stay. Just look out into the yard, and see whether there's a boy
standing on his head.'

'No, sir,' replied Nell. 'He's on his feet.'

'You're sure he is?' said Quilp. 'Well. Now, come in and shut
the door. What's your message, Nelly?'

The child handed him a letter. Mr Quilp, without changing his
position further than to turn over a little more on his side and rest
his chin on his hand, proceeded to make himself acquainted with its
contents.