Chapter 13

Great Expectations

by Charles Dickens

It was a trial to my feelings, on the next day but one, to see
Joe arraying himself in his Sunday clothes to accompany me to Miss
Havisham's. However, as he thought his court-suit necessary to the
occasion, it was not for me tell him that he looked far better in his
working dress; the rather, because I knew he made himself so
dreadfully uncomfortable, entirely on my account, and that it was for
me he pulled up his shirt-collar so very high behind, that it made
the hair on the crown of his head stand up like a tuft of
feathers.

At breakfast time my sister declared her intention of going to
town with us, and being left at Uncle Pumblechook's and called for
"when we had done with our fine ladies" - a way of putting the case,
from which Joe appeared inclined to augur the worst. The forge was
shut up for the day, and Joe inscribed in chalk upon the door (as it
was his custom to do on the very rare occasions when he was not at
work) the monosyllable hout, accompanied by a sketch of an arrow
supposed to be flying in the direction he had taken.

We walked to town, my sister leading the way in a very large
beaver bonnet, and carrying a basket like the Great Seal of England
in plaited straw, a pair of pattens, a spare shawl, and an umbrella,
though it was a fine bright day. I am not quite clear whether these
articles were carried penitentially or ostentatiously; but, I rather
think they were displayed as articles of property - much as Cleopatra
or any other sovereign lady on the Rampage might exhibit her wealth
in a pageant or procession.

When we came to Pumblechook's, my sister bounced in and left us.
As it was almost noon, Joe and I held straight on to Miss Havisham's
house. Estella opened the gate as usual, and, the moment she
appeared, Joe took his hat off and stood weighing it by the brim in
both his hands: as if he had some urgent reason in his mind for
being particular to half a quarter of an ounce.

Estella took no notice of either of us, but led us the way that
I knew so well. I followed next to her, and Joe came last. When I
looked back at Joe in the long passage, he was still weighing his hat
with the greatest care, and was coming after us in long strides on
the tips of his toes.

Estella told me we were both to go in, so I took Joe by the
coat-cuff and conducted him into Miss Havisham's presence. She was
seated at her dressing-table, and looked round at us immediately.

"Oh!" said she to Joe. "You are the husband of the sister of
this boy?"

I could hardly have imagined dear old Joe looking so unlike
himself or so like some extraordinary bird; standing, as he did,
speechless, with his tuft of feathers ruffled, and his mouth open, as
if he wanted a worm.

"You are the husband," repeated Miss Havisham, "of the sister of
this boy?"

It was very aggravating; but, throughout the interview Joe
persisted in addressing Me instead of Miss Havisham.

"Which I meantersay, Pip," Joe now observed in a manner that was
at once expressive of forcible argumentation, strict confidence, and
great politeness, "as I hup and married your sister, and I were at
the time what you might call (if you was anyways inclined) a single
man."

"Well!" said Miss Havisham. "And you have reared the boy, with
the intention of taking him for your apprentice; is that so, Mr.
Gargery?"

"You know, Pip," replied Joe, "as you and me were ever friends,
and it were looked for'ard to betwixt us, as being calc'lated to lead
to larks. Not but what, Pip, if you had ever made objections to the
business - such as its being open to black and sut, or such-like -
not but what they would have been attended to, don't you see?"

"Has the boy," said Miss Havisham, "ever made any objection?
Does he like the trade?"

"Which it is well beknown to yourself, Pip," returned Joe,
strengthening his former mixture of argumentation, confidence, and
politeness, "that it were the wish of your own hart." (I saw the
idea suddenly break upon him that he would adapt his epitaph to the
occasion, before he went on to say) "And there weren't no objection
on your part, and Pip it were the great wish of your heart!"

It was quite in vain for me to endeavour to make him sensible
that he ought to speak to Miss Havisham. The more I made faces and
gestures to him to do it, the more confidential, argumentative, and
polite, he persisted in being to Me.

"Have you brought his indentures with you?" asked Miss
Havisham.

"Well, Pip, you know," replied Joe, as if that were a little
unreasonable, "you yourself see me put 'em in my 'at, and therefore
you know as they are here." With which he took them out, and gave
them, not to Miss Havisham, but to me. I am afraid I was ashamed of
the dear good fellow - I know I was ashamed of him - when I saw that
Estella stood at the back of Miss Havisham's chair, and that her eyes
laughed mischievously. I took the indentures out of his hand and
gave them to Miss Havisham.

"You expected," said Miss Havisham, as she looked them over, "no
premium with the boy?"

"Joe!" I remonstrated; for he made no reply at all. "Why don't
you answer--"

"Pip," returned Joe, cutting me short as if he were hurt, "which
I meantersay that were not a question requiring a answer betwixt
yourself and me, and which you know the answer to be full well No.
You know it to be No, Pip, and wherefore should I say it?"

Miss Havisham glanced at him as if she understood what he really
was, better than I had thought possible, seeing what he was there;
and took up a little bag from the table beside her.

"Pip has earned a premium here," she said, "and here it is.
There are five-and-twenty guineas in this bag. Give it to your
master, Pip."

As if he were absolutely out of his mind with the wonder
awakened in him by her strange figure and the strange room, Joe, even
at this pass, persisted in addressing me.

"This is wery liberal on your part, Pip," said Joe, "and it is
as such received and grateful welcome, though never looked for, far
nor near nor nowheres. And now, old chap," said Joe, conveying to me
a sensation, first of burning and then of freezing, for I felt as if
that familiar expression were applied to Miss Havisham; "and now, old
chap, may we do our duty! May you and me do our duty, both on us by
one and another, and by them which your liberal present - have -
conweyed - to be - for the satisfaction of mind - of - them as
never--" here Joe showed that he felt he had fallen into frightful
difficulties, until he triumphantly rescued himself with the words,
"and from myself far be it!" These words had such a round and
convincing sound for him that he said them twice.

"Good-bye, Pip!" said Miss Havisham. "Let them out,
Estella."

"Am I to come again, Miss Havisham?" I asked.

"No. Gargery is your master now. Gargery! One word!"

Thus calling him back as I went out of the door, I heard her say
to Joe, in a distinct emphatic voice, "The boy has been a good boy
here, and that is his reward. Of course, as an honest man, you will
expect no other and no more."

How Joe got out of the room, I have never been able to
determine; but, I know that when he did get out he was steadily
proceeding up-stairs instead of coming down, and was deaf to all
remonstrances until I went after him and laid hold of him. In
another minute we were outside the gate, and it was locked, and
Estella was gone.

When we stood in the daylight alone again, Joe backed up against
a wall, and said to me, "Astonishing!" And there he remained so
long, saying "Astonishing" at intervals, so often, that I began to
think his senses were never coming back. At length he prolonged his
remark into "Pip, I do assure you this is as-tonishing!" and so, by
degrees, became conversational and able to walk away.

I have reason to think that Joe's intellects were brightened by
the encounter they had passed through, and that on our way to
Pumblechook's he invented a subtle and deep design. My reason is to
be found in what took place in Mr. Pumblechook's parlour: where, on
our presenting ourselves, my sister sat in conference with that
detested seedsman.

"Well?" cried my sister, addressing us both at once. "And
what's happened to you? I wonder you condescend to come back to such
poor society as this, I am sure I do!"

"Miss Havisham," said Joe, with a fixed look at me, like an
effort of remembrance, "made it wery partick'ler that we should give
her - were it compliments or respects, Pip?"

"Compliments," I said.

"Which that were my own belief," answered Joe - "her compliments
to Mrs. J. Gargery--"

"Much good they'll do me!" observed my sister; but rather
gratified too.

"And wishing," pursued Joe, with another fixed look at me, like
another effort of remembrance, "that the state of Miss Havisham's
elth were sitch as would have - allowed, were it, Pip?"

"Of her having the pleasure," I added.

"Of ladies' company," said Joe. And drew a long breath.

"Well!" cried my sister, with a mollified glance at Mr.
Pumblechook. "She might have had the politeness to send that message
at first, but it's better late than never. And what did she give
young Rantipole here?"

"She giv' him," said Joe, "nothing."

Mrs. Joe was going to break out, but Joe went on.

"What she giv'," said Joe, "she giv' to his friends. 'And by
his friends,' were her explanation, 'I mean into the hands of his
sister Mrs. J. Gargery.' Them were her words; 'Mrs. J. Gargery.'
She mayn't have know'd," added Joe, with an appearance of reflection,
"whether it were Joe, or Jorge."

My sister looked at Pumblechook: who smoothed the elbows of his
wooden armchair, and nodded at her and at the fire, as if he had
known all about it beforehand.

"And how much have you got?" asked my sister, laughing.
Positively, laughing!

"What would present company say to ten pound?" demanded Joe.

"They'd say," returned my sister, curtly, "pretty well. Not too
much, but pretty well."

"It's more than that, then," said Joe.

That fearful Impostor, Pumblechook, immediately nodded, and
said, as he rubbed the arms of his chair: "It's more than that,
Mum."

"Why, you don't mean to say--" began my sister.

"Yes I do, Mum," said Pumblechook; "but wait a bit. Go on,
Joseph. Good in you! Go on!"

"What would present company say," proceeded Joe, "to twenty
pound?"

"Handsome would be the word," returned my sister.

"Well, then," said Joe, "It's more than twenty pound."

That abject hypocrite, Pumblechook, nodded again, and said, with
a patronizing laugh, "It's more than that, Mum. Good again! Follow
her up, Joseph!"

"Then to make an end of it," said Joe, delightedly handing the
bag to my sister; "it's five-and-twenty pound."

"It's five-and-twenty pound, Mum," echoed that basest of
swindlers, Pumblechook, rising to shake hands with her; "and it's no
more than your merits (as I said when my opinion was asked), and I
wish you joy of the money!"

If the villain had stopped here, his case would have been
sufficiently awful, but he blackened his guilt by proceeding to take
me into custody, with a right of patronage that left all his former
criminality far behind.

"Now you see, Joseph and wife," said Pumblechook, as he took me
by the arm above the elbow, "I am one of them that always go right
through with what they've begun. This boy must be bound, out of
hand. That's my way. Bound out of hand."

"Goodness knows, Uncle Pumblechook," said my sister (grasping
the money), "we're deeply beholden to you."

"Never mind me, Mum, returned that diabolical corn-chandler. "A
pleasure's a pleasure, all the world over. But this boy, you know;
we must have him bound. I said I'd see to it - to tell you the
truth."

The Justices were sitting in the Town Hall near at hand, and we
at once went over to have me bound apprentice to Joe in the
Magisterial presence. I say, we went over, but I was pushed over by
Pumblechook, exactly as if I had that moment picked a pocket or fired
a rick; indeed, it was the general impression in Court that I had
been taken red-handed, for, as Pumblechook shoved me before him
through the crowd, I heard some people say, "What's he done?" and
others, "He's a young 'un, too, but looks bad, don't he? One person
of mild and benevolent aspect even gave me a tract ornamented with a
woodcut of a malevolent young man fitted up with a perfect
sausage-shop of fetters, and entitled, To be read in my cell.

The Hall was a queer place, I thought, with higher pews in it
than a church - and with people hanging over the pews looking on -
and with mighty Justices (one with a powdered head) leaning back in
chairs, with folded arms, or taking snuff, or going to sleep, or
writing, or reading the newspapers - and with some shining black
portraits on the walls, which my unartistic eye regarded as a
composition of hardbake and sticking-plaister. Here, in a corner, my
indentures were duly signed and attested, and I was "bound;" Mr.
Pumblechook holding me all the while as if we had looked in on our
way to the scaffold, to have those little preliminaries disposed
of.

When we had come out again, and had got rid of the boys who had
been put into great spirits by the expectation of seeing me publicly
tortured, and who were much disappointed to find that my friends were
merely rallying round me, we went back to Pumblechook's. And there
my sister became so excited by the twenty-five guineas, that nothing
would serve her but we must have a dinner out of that windfall, at
the Blue Boar, and that Pumblechook must go over in his chaise-cart,
and bring the Hubbles and Mr. Wopsle.

It was agreed to be done; and a most melancholy day I passed.
For, it inscrutably appeared to stand to reason, in the minds of the
whole company, that I was an excrescence on the entertainment. And
to make it worse, they all asked me from time to time - in short,
whenever they had nothing else to do - why I didn't enjoy myself. And
what could I possibly do then, but say I was enjoying myself - when I
wasn't?

However, they were grown up and had their own way, and they made
the most of it. That swindling Pumblechook, exalted into the
beneficent contriver of the whole occasion, actually took the top of
the table; and, when he addressed them on the subject of my being
bound, and had fiendishly congratulated them on my being liable to
imprisonment if I played at cards, drank strong liquors, kept late
hours or bad company, or indulged in other vagaries which the form of
my indentures appeared to contemplate as next to inevitable, he
placed me standing on a chair beside him, to illustrate his
remarks.

My only other remembrances of the great festival are, That they
wouldn't let me go to sleep, but whenever they saw me dropping off,
woke me up and told me to enjoy myself. That, rather late in the
evening Mr. Wopsle gave us Collins's ode, and threw his bloodstain'd
sword in thunder down, with such effect, that a waiter came in and
said, "The Commercials underneath sent up their compliments, and it
wasn't the Tumblers' Arms." That, they were all in excellent spirits
on the road home, and sang O Lady Fair! Mr. Wopsle taking the bass,
and asserting with a tremendously strong voice (in reply to the
inquisitive bore who leads that piece of music in a most impertinent
manner, by wanting to know all about everybody's private affairs)
that he was the man with his white locks flowing, and that he was
upon the whole the weakest pilgrim going.

Finally, I remember that when I got into my little bedroom I was
truly wretched, and had a strong conviction on me that I should never
like Joe's trade. I had liked it once, but once was not now.